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-- Will Breaden Madden - 2015-02-17
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-- Will Breaden Madden - 2015-02-23
 

The Hitchhiker's Guide to CERN

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  Be sure to fill out and have the following forms signed by your team leader (i.e., Tony Doyle, Craig Buttar or Val O'Shea can sign):
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  The CERN registration form registers you at CERN and grants you access to the CERN computer network and a CERN access card. Be sure to do this, as waiting to gain access to computers and the internet while at CERN can be frustrating because you need this for physics analysis and relaxing on the physics thread of 4chan /d/. You should bring some type of evidence of health insurance such as an EHIC (European Health Insurance Card). If you don't happen to have this evidence with you for some reason, the application of witchery can give you some temporal leeway in this regard.
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  Now, go to the CERN Users' office in building 500 and hand in your CERN registration form (making sure both sides are filled in). You should also hand in evidence of health insurance. If you don't have it, you can send it to the person you register with at a later date.
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Next, go to the ATLAS Secretariat on the top floor of the D wing of building 40 (the ATLAS/CMS building) and hand in your ATLAS registration form in order to get put onto the HR database. After the ATLAS registration, you can order a key for your office. For this, you simply fill out a requisition form. It takes about a day to have your new key made.
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Next, go to the ATLAS Secretariat on the top floor of the D wing of building 40 (the ATLAS/CMS building) and hand in your ATLAS registration form in order to get put onto the HR database. After the ATLAS registration, you can order a key for your office. For this, you simply fill out a requisition form(backup PDF copy, backup ODT copy) and send a copy of the form (a PDF is fine) to the ATLAS Secretariat. It takes about a day to have your new key made. You receive an e-mail when it is available and can collect it in building 55.
  Now, go to the ID Office in building 22 (which is near to gate B). Go up to the top floor first. Here you will receive details (user name and passcode) for internet access. You will also be instructed to do the Safety Information Registration (SIR). It is a set of online questions and it is not difficult. Now, go down to the ground floor. If you want, there are toilets on the ground floor with mirrors, so you can make yourself look very attractive before your photograph is taken. On the ground floor, you can get your photograph taken and your new CERN access card. Finally, go to your office, sit down and relax after all of that exercise.
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